Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
