HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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