im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
