Say something about gay babies.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
