so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
