its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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