Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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