For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
