It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
