I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
