But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
smell my finger.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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