When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
