Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
