Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
