I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
God I need to hump something, right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
