I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
