After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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