BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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