OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
