last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
