ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
