She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got her a Nickelback box set.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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