Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
