I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
