I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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