Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
