Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
