I don't usually arrange sex via text message
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
