Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
