I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Randomize
