I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
