What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
