well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
