Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
