That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
