My balls are so social today.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
