tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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