So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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