Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
