We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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