Screwed.edu
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
