We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
