you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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