it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
