plz talk dirty to me
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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