in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
