shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
