and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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