i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i think i just lost a toe
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
