she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
